Frequently Asked Questions

Is this feeling normal?

I don’t even need to know what the feeling is to tell you that whatever you’re feeling about your terrible thing is completely normal. Feel all the feelings. Do not look away.

Is there a place I can read your writing, other than your book?

If you want to read about our life when Aaron was alive and through his death, check out My Husband’s Tumor. I’ve also written pieces for Elle, Cosmopolitan, Slate and Time, among others. You can find my articles here.

Can you come to my bookclub?

I would love nothing more than to drink rosé with every club reading my book, but having a family and kids kind of interferes with that. I mean that in a good way, of course? BUT I DO APPRECIATE YOU and I want to meet you! So, check out my events page for readings and book signings and my Book Club page (coming soon!) for a guide I put together for the book.

How do I write a book or get a book published?

I wish there was an easy answer for this question because it’s one I get a lot. There are so many stories that need telling and so many feelings that deserve their moment in the sun, even (and maybe especially) the hard ones.

Writing has always been my way of dealing with difficult things. Even as a child, I would write my anxieties. I still have those journals, which is another story entirely.

When the worst happened and we found out that my boyfriend got a brain tumor, I wrote because I had to write to survive it. Also because I’m lazy and sending email updates to everyone was too much work. I started My Husband’s Tumor and from there I can’t even really tell you what happened because I was mostly drowning in grief and anxiety and raising my son and trying to live a life.

By luck, tragedy and the right people reading what I wrote, I happened into this and I’m still in shock.

One thing I can say for sure is that you can’t get published unless you have something written. I never regretted starting, so maybe just start today and see what happens. Write your own blog. Pitch a story to a publication you love reading. Get your work out there, and build your audience. Even if your audience is just your family (which, for a long time, mine was). Whether or not you get published, it’s still your story. You created it. You’ll have it forever and in the meantime, it might help you untie some emotional knots.

How do I start a non-profit? How do I fundraise for a non-profit? 

If you’re like me, your husband just died, you have a deadline to write a book, a toddler who just lost his Dad and say to yourself, “You know what? I need something to do.” Just kidding. I wanted to honor Aaron’s life and give back to the people who gave so generously to Ralph and I when he died. So, with the help of some friends, I started Still Kickin.

If you are in Minnesota, Minnesota Council of Nonprofits has some great resources for people who want to start a nonprofit. I’m guessing other states have similar resources. They host classes on legal issues, fundraising, all sorts of topics and are much more qualified to give advice than I am!

How can I nominate a hero for Still Kickin?

Head on over to Still Kickin to nominate a hero.

Can I share my story on Terrible, Thanks for Asking?

Yes! You are welcome to share your story with us, however terrible. Please contact us here and we’ll reach back to you if your story is a good fit. I’m sorry your terrible thing happened.

Is Hot Young Widows Club real? Can I join? Do I have to hot or young?

The HYWC is real and yes, if you lost your person, you can join. You do not have to consider yourself young or hot, but I will. Join here.

Have another question?

Contact me here.